Overall Experience in Professor Wesley's Class :)

Well, I'll start off by saying that I found this class to be extremely helpful. As Professor Wesley said in class earlier, taking the easy way out or taking classes because the teachers are so lenient and they don't grade this or that is not always a good thing and you're really setting yourself up for failure. Professor Wesley is one of those teachers that make sure you are on your toes and that we do what needs to be done CORRECTLY. She is not one of those teachers that doesn't care about the work her students turn in and at first, I didn't like that about her but now I see the importance of having a hardcore teacher that stays on your back. I can say that I am just a little bit more prepared for any other English classes that I may have in the future and I am grateful for that. I cant say that I'm not glad this class is over though. Not just this class, but BOTH of my classes! I'm just sick and tired of doing work. This is summer and although these six credits toward my other college credits are very helpful, I would've much rather have spent my summer vacationing and relaxing for the most part. This experience was very interesting and unique. The entire thing. Not just the class but living with all of these other people with all of these different personalities. Its opened my eyes a little bit and the fact that I have to adjust to them was a bit frustrating because I'm not used to it at all. I wanted to be back at home the first week or so because I just didn't like that the way I think wasn't the way other people thought. I always befriend people that think like me and it turned out that these people didn't. That's life though. Everyone has different opinions and ideas and ways that they feel about things. I don't like the idea of having to adjust to SOMEONE ELSE'S way of thinking. It just seems like you're catering to them but what about doing the same for me? Some people don't care about your opinions. Theirs is the only one that matters. That's not how the world works...but overall, I enjoyed the class (some days) lol.

Good-bye Prof. Wesley! See you in the fall!

#ECSU17! #VikingPride!

 

 

Research Today

Today's research was challenging for me. I felt like I couldn't find the books that I was looking for, the online research went pretty well though. Its very easy to find sources and articles online that relate to your topic. Looking through the different types of books in the library was nerve racking and it made my eyes hurt. I'm not used to looking up actual reference books to research things so that was very out of the box for me. Had I started looking sooner, I probably would've found some good finds but other students got to the good books with all the good information before I did. But the ECSU school website was extremely helpful in finding online articles and such. All I had to do was type in major keywords of what I was looking for and everything just popped up. Everything I needed was in front of me. I am very picky when it comes to choosing my sources and so I don't write down any and every source that I see unless I know that it relates to my topic at least 80%. Making sure that I'm not writing about blabber and rambling about things that have nothing to do with my paper is one of my weaknesses in writing and so that's something that I'm trying to work on. I think the first step to that is to do good research and pick out sources that relate specifically to the topic at hand. This is preparing me for what the real college experience is going to be like when I have to write long papers and research my information though so I'm really not complaining. It's very helpful.

Argumentative Essay (2)

In my argumentative essay, I'm going to state my claim and stance on the absence of fathers in the lives of their children. I wrote all of my ideas out in the last post about my experience with my father being absent from my life for half of it. I really don't know what to say. I'm pretty sure that a lot of people that may read my paper will be able to relate to what I have to say so it wont be a challenge to persuade the reader to agree with me. Its sad to say that so many people know the feeling of not having a father around. Everyone needs a father in their life. I plan on keeping the rebuttals of the readers in mind and making sure I hit those thoughts right on the head and answer them. Out of the Logos, Ethos, and Pathos, I plan on using Ethos and maybe a little bit of Pathos. Usually I would go with the Logos side because that's my personality, but I'm trying to go outside the box here and try something different. What I believe, may not be the same things that other people believe and so I think I should try a different approach. Issues of Evaluation sounds more like my paper also. I have my brainstorm done and out of the way so I have a couple of ideas and main points that I can contribute to my paper.

Argumentative Essay

I think I do really good with argumentative essays. I love writing them because I always have very strong opinions about things and they're mainly based on my morals and values and the way I was raised. I try and do things and think about things in the right manner. I think literally and sometimes critically about certain topics. I try analyzing situations before just jumping to conclusions. I believe in giving things the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I hate that I have such strong opinions about topics because then people think that I'm close-minded (which I've came to the realization that I am) or that I am old-fashioned or stuck in my ways (which, once again, I am). I grew up around a bunch of old people or senior citizens so I cant help but to think like I have some SENSE. I don't feel that I think like my peers. As far as common sense goes...sometimes it bothers me because I feel that I don't fit in with everyone and that I'm never understood, but then again, I guess I should be grateful that I do think the way I do. My thinking has saved me from a lot of dumb decisions that some of my peers have made. I've met very few people that think like me. Its hard. lol. But back to the argumentative essay...this shouldn't be too hard for me. Eight pages is quite a bit though I just may run out of things to talk about. Don't get me wrong, I can go on forever about something I believe strongly in like Absent Fathers. My father was absent from my life for 6 years. From the time when I was so little that I don't remember him leaving, up to my 5th grade in middle school. He was incarcerated and when he came back, I felt like I really didn't know who he was. Had we never received pictures of him from the prison I probably wouldn't have even known what he looked like. I would've walked right past him. I love my father and I'm ecstatic that he's back now but sometimes it feels like he's still "absent" because he's hardly ever around. The one thing that he told me a long time ago that has stuck with me is "Never be a follower. Always be a leader." That will stick with me for the rest of my life as long as I live. I really don't even know why that moved me so much.

 

 

1965 - End of the Road...

 

 

What does Nel mean when she says there were a lot of beautiful people in 1921?? Did she mean literally? Like, their faces? And I had no idea that Nel was HAPPY that Chicken Little died. That doesn't make sense, why would she be happy? And as for the event planning, in the book it said that Sula was still laying in Eva's bed for days before they found her. I thought they HAD to be planning the funeral. So...what was the event? I don't even think Eva remembered Nel to be honest because of how she answered her when Nel walked in. Or maybe it was just old age. For the first time, Nel started seeing the results of integration and desegregation in the 60's. She said colored people worked behind the counter at the dime store and handling money behind cash registers. And colored people were teaching at junior high schools now. The talk between Nel and Eva was pretty intense also .Nel finally realized how wrong she really was for keeping her mouth shut about Chicken Little's death and she stood there and watched him drown. Nel knew all along that she was guilty but she tried to make herself believe that she was the "good" one. That Sula was the one that was messed up really bad and she's the one who needed the help because hers was always together. Lies. Nel was just as messed up as Sula she just didn't express it as Sula did. Just as Sula watched her mother burn, Nel watched as Chicken drowned in the water. Didn't do anything to stop it. Nel might as well have been the one to throw Chicken Little into the water. They were one in the same. One entity.

 

 

 

1941 - Technology

I really like the Animoto videos that we are able to incorporate into our blogs. I'm not a huge fan of the Popplet thing though...its okay I guess its just not much fun interacting with it and doing different things. I've worked with a site like Animoto before in high school and because I went to a technology school we were exposed to a lot of websites that allowed us to embed videos that we created from scratch into our own websites that we had to create for a grade. I said all that to say that this assignment was not difficult for me and it felt very natural for me to do the assignment. Honestly, the world is moving towards the field of technology so for us to be using technology with our blogs, I feel like its a great opportunity and very preparational.

1941 (Popplet)

Popplet Presentation on 1941 in the novel Sula.

1941 - Animoto

 

 

Animoto Presentation on Chapter 1941 in the novel Sula. 

 



1941 - A Depressing Chapter.

I found it very sad and disheartening when everyone at the end of the chapter died. All of those people: women, children, men, fell into the river trying to destroy the bridge across it because of their rage against whites for not hiring colored folks. All of this on Shadrack's Suicide Day on January 3rd. Smh...the part that caught my attention the most was when the book stated that the lady named Mrs. Jackson had slid down the bank and a piece of ice caught her in the mouth. I'm guessing it cut her mouth open or sliced her head...I thought that was ironic because she's always eating ice! Shadrack lived through all of that lol. That's crazy. Shadrack was grieving the death of his "friend" Sula after he found out about her death because he felt she was the only friend he had even though I had never read that they had any conversations with each other. Except that one time when she was a little girl and she ran into his house and he just said the word "Always" to her. Shadrack is crazy as hell. I feel like he needs to find a female companion and get on with life. Maybe he actually does have a severe mental illness because people that come back home from the war don't act THAT damn crazy. He's over the top with it. Sula's death wasn't a big surprise for me though because everyone else who had read ahead, told the damn book -_- whatever! That's a tragic story though. To die just because you are misunderstood. To die continuing to be misunderstood. Sula never really got to tell her side of the story to anyone but Nel. I guess Nel is the only person worth explaining herself to though. I sensed that Sula was misunderstood from the very beginning. And I feel like if Hannah had not said that she didn't like Sula and Sula overheard it, then she wouldnt have acted in the way that she did. Hearing your own mother that birthed you say things like that about you will put you in a depressing state. No one should ever have to go through that or hear that from their mom. It makes you feel unwanted and unloved just as Sula did. And you see where she ends up.

1940 - My Mother & Grandmother vs. Sula & Nel

Nel & Sula's talk started out quite formal and casual...but the more they spoke to each other, the more heated the conversation got. They started talking about loneliness and Sula said that her loneliness is her own and Nel has a secondhand loneliness which I totally get & which is true. I wonder what the whole purse thing was about and why Sula didn't have any money at all and why she made that face just as Nel was about to ask her where all her money was. Nel was a good person for not mentioning the fact that Sula didn't have the money to pay for her prescription and she took it upon herself to pay for it. That's a true friend I feel like. I definitely would've did it for one of my close friends...maybe even someone who isn't that close to me just because I love doing good deeds and making people feel good. It makes me feel good on the inside knowing that I could help someone in need. Maybe I SHOULD be a doctor like my mother said lol. Anyways, Nel seemed pretty hurt by Sula's reaction to the question, "why did you take Jude away from me?". Sula was just so nonchalant and apathetic towards the entire situation. She didn't feel any remorse nor regret. Nel constantly asked "what about me? Didn't my feelings matter at all to you? After all we've been through?" Sula calmly, and in more ways than one, told her "No. You didn't matter." I can only imagine how Nel felt. My mom and grandmother went through the same situation and my mother and grandmother were very close. My grandmother went to SC and got married to a guy that my mother was seeing regularly. Even though he was much older than my mom, it still didn't give my grandmother the right to do what she did. My mother asked her why she did it and my grandmother simply responded like "I don't know" with no type of sorry or I apologize in her face or voice. She didn't feel any sympathy towards my mother. She didn't think she was wrong for what she did. That hurt my mom deeply and even though shes completely over it NOW, I know it still stings in her heart a little bit when she thinks about how it all went down.

Sula dying was the saddest portion of the book in my opinion. At first, when Morrison was explaining her death, I didn't know what the hell was going on. It was talking about white dust and powdered liquid and I was reading it like "huh?!" but it clearly stated at the end of the chapter that she had died.

1939 - Sula & Ajax (Glogster)

1939 - Karma is a fat bitch

Sula's return into the Bottom is not actually bad. Yes, everything she does is negative and has a negative consequence but its now making the people in the Bottom do their part within their families. They're protecting one another and taking care of their children. The husbands are being cherished more which is what the husbands wanted and needed from their wives in the first place. I feel like had the women been doing that from the beginning, Sula wouldn't have been able to take them away from the wives. The town people are thinking that she and Shadrack are the devil now. I think its crazy. I mean yeah, people do have some evil ways and they do very mean things but they're definitely NOT the devil. The devil would've killed everyone in Medallion had he been there with them. Sula needs a psychologist though. I think something is wrong with her mentally. Its just the way she reacts to situations in her life. Its not normal. No one in their right mind would just be sitting on the bed looking after you've just been caught by your childhood friend sleeping with their husband. Sula just doesn't give a damn about anything and it pisses me off a little bit because its like, what are you doing all this for? what's her purpose of doing all this crazy ass shit? I really don't get it. If Sula was doing all of this for a reason, some greater good, then I probably would be able to understand but I just don't understand it. I don't blame Nel for going along with everyone else's opinion of Sula because of what Sula has done to her but I thought Nel was going to be the bigger person and be more mature about the situation and just not talk to Sula anymore and leave it alone. Me, personally, there would be no need for me to congregate with the whole town about Sula. I would just let fate deal with her. What goes around, comes around and karma is going to be a

fat bitch.

 

 

Part II - 1937 - Sula's Betrayal (Glogster)

1927 - Confusion.

I don't remember in the reading where it says Sula was going off to college at all. And there was no indication that Sula and Nel's friendship had fell off a little bit. Everything just started at the wedding party in Helene's house. I see now that weddings for people that lived in the Bottom didn't have to do with race, but rather your financial situation. I also thought that Sula was okay with Nel and her relationship where it was seeing as how at the end of the chapter it stated that Sula was smiling as she was leaving out of the party. It left me wondering where Sula was going too...and why she had to leave. I guess those are the same question cause wherever she was going is probably why she had to leave. I don't know what else to write about really. This chapter wasn't all that interesting to me and people ahead of me who have already finished the book said that it was a waste of time because nothing is explained at all. It ends stupidly. But since I really like Sula,  I'm just going to continue reading it. I would like to find out for myself what happens in the end to everyone.

 

 

1923 - I understand both sides of the field.

I understand where Eva was coming from when Hannah asked did she love them and Eva took offense. Eva did all she could to keep her children alive with only $1.54 and three beets to her name. Even though Eva didn't play with them growing up, that doesn't mean she didn't love them. I would've felt the same way Hannah did too though. If I wasn't getting any attention from my mother growing up, I would've thought there was something wrong with me or that she didn't like or love me. Being a mother is more than just making sure that her children have something to eat or that they have clothes on their backs. The love, affection, and care also plays a role in parenting. Children absolutely NEED that growing up or they will feel unwanted or that no one cares for them. That may be the reason Hannah grew up to be a whore. She wants that attention that no one else was there to give her. Her father left them at a very young age, and her mother never showed signs that she REALLY loved them. What is she supposed to think? I feel like Sula is crazy as hell and she should've helped her mother while she was laying there burning. That's some devil shit. I don't care if she was on her period or whatever, that's going way too far. I would be pretty upset if I heard my mother say she didn't like me too but I wouldn't...well I really cant say what I would do. I cant even imagine hearing my OWN mother say that she didn't like me...She's all I have. I know I wouldn't watch her burn though. Id just not speak to her at all and strongly dislike her. Maybe even have a little hate for her. These situations are very deep and I really don't know how to answer  because had I been put into these situations, I wouldn't be able to handle it. Id break down. Id be in a dark room in the corner somewhere rocking back and forth lol I don't know. Its difficult to say. Hopefully Sula gets her shit together though cause she on some other shit. And she would've got her ass beat by now had I been Eva OR Hannah.

1922 - "Back in the Day" Deaths

What does the phrase "pig meat" mean and why were Sula and Nel smiling when the men said it? It doesnt sound very flattering to me. I also didnt understand why Sula and Nel made a circle in the dirt and filled it with trash and debris...maybe that represents how they feel on the inside. Full of debris and mess and they just cover it all up and put a smile on so nobody sees it? The grass on the top of the covered hole represents the smile by the way. I thought that Chicken was going to fall down from the tree and that's how he'd die. I never expected for Sula to accidentally let go and him fly into the water and drown. Thats really sad. Why does all the old time deaths have to be extremely tragic. Like a tree falling on your head and breaking your neck or a train running over your leg leaving you with just one to hop on. Nothing like that ever happens in modern day. I call them "back in the day" deaths. They were just crazy to me. And so graphic.

1921 - A lot I just don't get.

Can a corn really grow from your feet up to your leg? How was that even possible? And what would someone want with a leg that had something growing up it. $10,000?! No...
I feel like Eva struggled a lot with her children too. She is an extremely strong black woman cause she made ends meet to make sure her children had what they needed or sometimes she just did what she could. I love her hustle and even though their father didnt stick around, she still did what she had to for her children. I give her the utmost respect. That's what happens to some women. They listen to what the men they "love" say and end up hurt, miserable, and mistreated. I pray that's never going to be me. That's NOT gonna be me. And I wonder was it really rocks coming out of Plum's butt as a baby or was it crap? I'm confused. Was he constipated and thats it? If that was the case, she could've just stuck her hand up his butt from the start and pulled it all out. I wouldve been pissed the fuck off had the father of my children came to visit me with his new girlfriend and not even once ask about his kids. Thats a no-no. And whats up with everybody's mother being a hoe? I didnt understand why Eva burned her son Plum alive. That was really disheartening and I dont think I couldve done it. My own child.

1920 - Looking in the mirror and actually liking what's looking back at you is a process...

I think Nel JUST realized how proud she was of herself and who she is when she saw how pretty her grandmother and mother was. Although she thought her grandmother was strange & bizarre, Nel is coming to sort of a self realization. The way people talk about the "town whores" and stuff reminds me of my hometown and how its so small that EVERYBODY knows your business. There's no use in even hiding it because if one person sees you, the whole town saw you. lol. I'm sitting in the computer room on the 1st floor right now thinking of something to say...I'm finding myself having to go back and actually read the damn chapter all over again because I forgot what happened in that specific chapter. My mind doesn't register things in sections like that. When I think about a book, I imagine everything as a whole. No cuts. Anyways...I kinda sorta understand the phase Nel was going through when she was standing in the mirror saying, "I'm me". I went through a similar situation when I was a little older than her. Trying to find myself and figure out who I was, or if I was unhappy, who I wanted to be. I don't know...

1919 - Shadrack & My Grandfather's Experience.

Umm, I'm really trying to figure out what is wrong with Shadrack's hands. I really don't believe that his hands are cut off or chopped off. I think he just has PTSD from fighting in the war. I vividly remember my grandmother and telling my brothers and I about how when my grandfather came back from fighting in the Vietnam war, he had all these stories to tell and he would still tell us different stories to this day. He would wake up in the middle of the night. Maybe 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning and just start jumping and flailing around. When a plane would fly over our heads out in the backyard he would dive to the ground and tell everyone else to do the same because he thought that there were bombs about to be dropped over us. We would all just look at eachother like, "What is he doing?". I honestly dont know how my grandmother put up with all of that. I would've probably left his ass cause the pressure would just be too much. I didnt like that Shadrack got locked in jail either because the police thought that he was intoxicated when he really wasnt...I hate when stuff like that happens in books. It makes me mad because there's nothing you can do about it cause IT'S A BOOK! (or movie) but yeah. That's it.